Is the three day rule still in effect? Don't you just hand them your phone when you're flirting so they can add their number to their contacts? And typically, you would reply to their text within a few minutes with your name and perhaps a lovely emoji so they could get in touch with you as well.

Therefore, the three day rule is fundamentally invalid in the texting age as soon as you decide to exchange numbers and send the first text back to reveal your contact information. Or perhaps you message someone after deeply loving a few of their selfies to indicate your love interest.

You may not even be familiar with the three-day rule. It's important to be aware of because some individuals (particularly those who first started dating before the invention of texting) are aware of it and may even take it seriously.

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What is the Three Day Rule?

The three day rule is intended to avoid appearing overly eager or desperate. It doesn't matter if you count the day you exchanged numbers as day one or start the Day-One Clock on the following full day. Continuous, instantaneous communication by text or DM can seem like a lack of respect for personal space, or it could appear to be a regular dialogue. From person to person, the definition differs.

When does the timer begin to run? There isn't just one solution. In the pre-text age, the movie Swingers succinctly stated the situation: nobody is really sure, it may only be a two-day rule, and for some people, it's more of a form of social game-playing than what it's intended to be. Consider the three day rule as a guideline rather than a sign that you won't smother them or otherwise be excessively clingy or move too quickly.

The world is unlikely to end if you miscalculate the three-day rule's timing by an hour or two, or even an afternoon. Boundaries are essential, but it might not be worthwhile to pursue someone who is inflexibly rigid about arbitrary norms. They are hard and unyielding everywhere else.

Three Day Rule Does Not Exist on dating Apps

On a dating app, the three-day rule doesn't really apply at all. If either of you takes more than a day to react, some dating apps entirely block access to matches. There are some aspects that are specific to online dating that are still entrenched in the three day rule mentality, whether or not you're using an app that puts those kinds of restrictions.

First, when you login online and have the opportunity to introduce yourself, do so. This does not imply that you should abandon your shopping bag in the middle of the vegetable aisle. You can hold off till you've got a chance to draft a kind, interesting paragraph or less.

Somewhere between "hey" and the details of your life. This is the equivalent of introducing yourself in person, but waiting three days after that message just makes you seem uninterested and rude. Before you reach the third day, they'll unmatch.

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Here is a brief outline of what should happen in a dating app: This is only the introduction. Then, presumably, there will be a short, nice conversation during which each of you gets a chance to introduce yourself and there may even be some flirtation.

Ideally, one of you will gracefully conclude the conversation (after all, you both have lives apart from dating). Pick up the discussion in-app and repeat the brief talk if you're still unsure. One or both of you should be persuaded enough to provide up their phone number by this stage.


Offer your number (or accept theirs) to end that first or second discussion. Sometime soon (or the following afternoon if it's late...Send a brief text saying something like, "Hi, this is [name] from [app], or if you've been drinking, do not send even the most well-intentioned text while drunk." I also wanted you to have my phone number. I forward speaking with you soon. Naturally, that brings us back to the main query.…

In the age of texting, does the three day rule still apply?

As a result, you switched the conversation to text. Observe their example. Keep quiet if they don't answer. Inaction has a life of its own. If they adhere to the three-day limit, they can decide to postpone their response.


Most of the time, they are not being dishonest; instead, they are either acting in accordance with what they perceive to be conventional knowledge or setting boundaries and expectations early. While pushing it can close a door that should have remained open, pushing it too hard can close a door when someone is actually merely busy.

This also applies to the actual conversation. There is no need to indulge in conversational games, but if one of you is more attentive than the other, it may be a sign that they are either preoccupied or uninterested. There is just enough leeway to allow for one considerate follow-up text. Not "hey, where'd you go?" but rather a follow-up on a movie suggestion, the most recent episode of a show you both watch, or some other light chat you had just started.

Take the hint if they ghosted after offering to meet up in person for a "real date" in their last text. Never follow up again. Although it is rude, they have provided you with the information you require.

          Read also: 5 Social Intelligence skills that can improve men’s lives

The three day rule: Are There Any Exceptions?

There are a few uncommon exceptions if you even think the three-day rule applies. Yes, you should disregard the restriction if the two of you discussed attending an event that takes place inside that three-day span.

Show caution and bring up an issue that might spark dialogue but isn't immediately actionable when it arises rather than inside the three-day window. It gives a fantastic excuse to say, "Oh, I ran across x and thought of you." Make sure that "I thought of you" doesn't refer to anything obscene or demeaning.

To demonstrate to someone you're interested in that you have appropriate limits, keep in mind that it's less important how long you spend with them. Text away once you feel that's established!


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